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Marsha’s Story
June 26 2005
I came to YouthCare after I had spent a week on my friends’ friend’s couch. Although we were friends and he was there for me, we had different lifestyles. When I ended up doing my homework in the hallway because the second-hand smoke from weed made my lungs burn and my eyes water, I realized my eyes were not simply cleansing themselves. I was crying because reality had hit. I was truly broken. I had lowered my standards and tolerated what I typically wouldn’t have, just to survive. I eventually moved on to a different shelter, this one being a home for battered women. It was a rundown house in what seemed like an isolated field in a bad part of town. Leaving my mother, I was already scared and anxious but living there only amplified those feelings.
I finally came to YouthCare after staying in that house, alone, a little over two weeks. I moved into YouthCare’s Passages just after Thanksgiving. I was a depressed person filled with fear, pain and anxiety. What I needed, I couldn’t find, and what I wanted was out of reach. So much changed for me my first night at YouthCare. For the first time in a month, I wasn’t in unfamiliar surroundings and scared to go to sleep. When I woke up the next morning, I knew I had a home.
I have always been the one most likely to form meaningful relationships with folks older than me. I think that’s because at seven years old, I was raising my brother and had access to the accounts so the bills would be paid. I never had a childhood and have always been more of an adult in a child’s body. It is hard to try to fit a childhood in at 17, 19 and 21 when society is telling you, now is when you are supposed to be an adult. As a result, I spent more time in the staff office than anywhere else. Just trying to find people who were currently in a space in their life to understand what I had been through and where I am in my life. I found these people in Jarron, Heather and Curtis. I remember when I had my first experience with office politics. I was in the office every night after working, crying, cussing and laughing at myself. Jarron was always there with a tissue for my tears and support and a hug for my psyche so I could go back out there. Whenever I had problems with my self-esteem and I would get the best of myself, Heather was there to say “No, Marsha! You’re going to go out there and make yourself a great day!” And Curtis…I vividly remember most of the times when we’d clash on lines of thinking because he is so PC, and I am more east coast. Sometimes we would be saying the same thing, but we each presented it differently and we would argue over that, hardly realizing we were talking about the same thing! Other times, we would disagree and then disagree some more, but in retrospect all of that was great! Because I was learning from Curtis invaluable lessons in the art of communication I can take with me anywhere. As a lawyer, these lessons will serve me well.
Indeed, moving into Passages is the best thing that could have ever happened to me. Although I don’t have a parent capable of loving and caring for me, I do have a support system. These are some of YouthCare’s intangible deliverables, and they are what has been provided to me times 10. I call it the YouthCare triad: Stability, Security and Support. Every youth needs this triad in their life before they are able to think about the possibility of a positive future. Without these three things we are simply living day to day with no regard to the potential greatness of tomorrow. Because of YouthCare, I do have a better tomorrow and today isn’t half bad. I am enrolled in a dual certificate program at Edmonds Community College. Within 2 years I will have obtained my AA Transfer and ATA Paralegal Studies.
YouthCare has given me better self esteem, an opportunity to find out more about myself through leadership activities and everyday interaction. Sometimes with like minded individuals and sometimes with minds not even of this world! Everything has been a learning experience for me and I am grateful for YouthCare’s position in my life.
